First Looks VS The Traditional - Not Seeing til Ceremony // tips for brides
BRIDES!!! The age old question of will you see your husband-to-be prior to the ceremony or wait until you are coming down the aisle! It’s a BIG decision without a doubt. This one single decision really sets the stage for SO many parts of your wedding day, and some don’t realize just how much this decision affects!
It absolutely is a PERSONAL decision, 100%, though sometimes it’s a matter of not knowing the ways that a first look can be beneficial, and so I’m hoping today to shed some light on that!
How does a first look affect your overall day?
The overall timing of your day
The nervous jitters you and/or your fiance both might have (hint: they disappear!)
How many photos you can knock out prior to the ceremony
The amount of time (how much or how little) will be needed in between ceremony and reception
Likewise, how long your guests will be waiting for you at the reception
The overall number of photos of you two that you’ll ultimately end up with
And seriously so, much, moreeeee!
One of the biggest things I hear from brides when they are trying to decide what to do on this very topic is, “I don’t want to ruin the moment of me coming down the aisle!” or, “I want the moment I come down the aisle to be special!!”
Ladiesssss, let me absolutely tell you truthfully a few things here — number one, there is nothing, NOTHING that can ruin the moment of you coming down the aisle. Even if you and your groom have seen one another earlier in the day, the moment you come down to him, when he sees you walk toward him and the music is playing…trust me, emotions hit hard and hit fast and it’s SO SO special no matter what!!
Another big, gigantic thing to think about here, is that those on the fence with this decision sometimes don’t realize the amount of PRESSURE that will undoubtedly be on you BOTH when the ceremony rolls around!! After having spent the entire morning possibly stressing over all the things coming together, wanting everything to be just perfect, and all the moving parts of a morning of a wedding… woof, trust me, trust those who came before you, it is a LOT.
What if you don’t have a first look, what to expect?
When you come down the aisle, everyone is staring at you big time — you AND your groom. Staring at you because obviously, helloooo you are the beautiful blushing bride, and then so many are also staring down your fiance because OOH is he going to cry!? It’s A LOT of pressure. Trust and believe!
You finally reach your person, you both are shaking so much you can barely hold hands, and then what? The officiant starts to speak immediately, the expectation here is that you two remain quiet. You don’t get that chance to hug, embrace, kiss, let each other know how amazing you look!
By the time the ceremony ends, and you’ve exited the ceremony where you can freely talk out loud, say all the things etc, the moment by then, has passed!
So let’s flip this around and think from the perspective of YOU DO a first look… then what can it look like? Well for the biggest reason of all to start off with — you two GET some ALONE TIME. Your groom will be taken to a private spot and will wait not-so-patiently for you to come up behind him and let him know he can turn around. And when he does, what happens? Answer: Anything and everything.
What are some perks to sharing a first look?
You guys can can immediately fall into each others arms.
Since no guest, parent, cousin, long lost uncle Fred etc is staring you guys down — you’re able to react genuinely with no pressure!! So tears, joyful screams, laughing, the whole nine yards, you two are able to feel and BE in the moment completely freely.
You two get to kick nervous jitters to the curb! Who likely calms you down the absolute most? Your fiance? Boom. Let him do so when you are undoubtedly your most jittery!
You guys can take your time in this moment... there is no rush!
You’ll be having this insanely emotionally charged moment photographed from the perspective of you both in each others arms — all the feelings well documented!
You can roll into some joyful portraits of the two of you soon after, which means opportunity number one (of two, if not three) for great bride & groom portraits!
Bridal party and family photos can be knocked out prior to the ceremony, AFTER your first look — meaning the time in between the ceremony and reception doesn’t have to be as long, and guests aren’t kept waiting!
You essentially get to enjoy more time with your bridal party, and family - because you aren’t having to stay hidden for several hours until the ceremony.
First looks are like an insurance policy against inclement weather — in the event it rained, by doing a first look, you’re giving yourself a minimum of two opportunities (three sometimes) for portraits of you and your groom, vs just one shot at it only.
Overall, you end up with about 40% more portraits!
What’s the truth of the matter?
Most brides aren’t so much concerned with tradition vs non-tradition, what it really truly comes down to, is that every bride just wants A REACTION from their groom when they first see her. No matter if it happens during a first look or as she comes down the aisle, it’s HOW he reacts that is most important to her.
And the truth is — it is far easier for some to react NATURALLY… when you aren’t being stared down by all 250+ guests who are watching you and anticipating your every reaction.
So think about that — doesn’t it overall make more sense to allow your groom to see you in a private setting so that he feels zero pressure to “react a certain way” and thus allowing him to react completely naturally? Doesn’t it make sense for yourself too, to give you the opportunity to let him see you first and foremost privately, vs having everyone else see you at the same time? Doesn’t the idea of being able to actually touch, hug, kiss, cry etc — without your ceremony beginning immediately sound amazing?
Now let’s tackle with finality — does a first look ruin the down-the-aisle moment?
Well, let’s let you be the judge! The following series of photos are from different weddings and I’ll let you look at them first before you find out the truth. Some of these guys saw their brides in a first look moment earlier in the day, some didn’t…. Some are seeing her for the first time as she comes down the aisle, some are not.
When you first look at these photos, can you guess which ones are which??
Did Ryan here see Molly before the ceremony? < click the text to find out!
YES!!! He saw her earlier in the day for a first look, and this was still his reaction as she came down the aisle :)
When Ryan saw Molly during their first look, this was his reaction then!!
What about Blake here, is he seeing Allyson for the first time as she came down the aisle??
YES! This was his first glance at her on the day of their wedding.
Can you truly see comparing his reaction to Ryan's above how no matter what, the down-the-aisle moment is STILL so so so amazing? I sure can!!
Brett got emotional when Melissa came down the aisle to him at their wedding - what do you think, was he seeing her for the first time?
The answer is no, he had already seen her earlier that day!! See the pics of their beautiful first look below!
What about Ben here, was he seeing Bailey for the first time that day or had he seen her earlier?
He was seeing her for the first time, as she came down the aisle!
Next up, Zach - was this the ceremony, or the first look moment?
It was the first look!
These two went on to share a few minutes together, just the two of them — talking about how excited they were to get married and Zach took time to compliment everything about his bride from her hair, to her dress, to her floral crown, to the color of her nails :)
What are you seeing?
You’re seeing a wide range of emotions — joy, happiness, laughter, tears — and they’re all happening in BOTH circumstances, to those who shared in a first look, and to those who did not!! Ya see friends, a wedding is F-U-L-L of emotion no matter what. The range of emotions you and your fiance will feel over the course of your big day can vary in so many ways, and can come out in so many ways — as well as at different times, and sometimes, even repeat themselves!! You just never know!!
You guys obviously can’t go wrong with what decision you make, but I’m oh so hopeful that this post helped shed some light on this topic!!
Now, one more thing… A DISCLAIMER NOTE lol now that there has been a lottttttt of talk about First Looks, let me throw in this necessary disclaimer! My couples are not required to do a First Look by any means! I sincerely hope nothing I’ve said sounds like that!! Honestly, I used to feel bad for sharing this option (and opinions) with couples who were against it because I didn’t want to push anything on them. However, I’ve seen the benefits of a first look over and over again and so I only share this because I want the BEST for my couples!! It’s totally okay if couples choose not to share a first look! I promise no matter what you decide, your day will be amazing, and unique.....and gorgeous images will happen, no matter what!
